Recent Posts

  • Yor, The Hunter from the Future
  • Gor
  • Timemaster
  • Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
  • Season of the Witch
  • Deadfall
  • Snake Eyes
  • Zandalee
    • Yor, The Hunter from the Future

      Yor, The Hunter from the Future

      Yor, an extremely blond prehistoric warrior, comes to question his origins, particularly with regard to a mysterious medallion he wears.

    • Gor

      Gor

      This movie is filled with man taint and a scene that is best described as "completely useless".

    • Timemaster

      Timemaster

      Where Michael Dorn will strap you to a chair and stuck the life out of you.

    • Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time

      Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time

      Be sure to watch the credits where the Beastmaster runs off into the matte painting.

    • Season of the Witch

      Season of the Witch

      So where in Europe are they at?

    • Deadfall

      Deadfall

      Go ahead, try to figure out what Nicolas Cage says.

    • Snake Eyes

      Snake Eyes

      It isn't lying! You just tell them what you did right, and you leave out the rest!

    • Zandalee

      Zandalee

      People die, people die...everybody dies.

    • KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

      KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

      Demon (aka Gene Simmons): "Star Child!" and a fucking laser beams shoot out of his right eye. All I'm going to say...

    • Street Trash

      Street Trash

      When a liquor store owner finds a case of "Viper" in his cellar, he decides to sell it to the local hobos at one dollar a bottle, unaware...

    Recent News

    Yor, The Hunter from the Future

    Yor, The Hunter from the Future

    Published February 9, 2012
    Gor

    Gor

    Published February 9, 2012
    Timemaster

    Timemaster

    Published January 26, 2012
    Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time

    Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time

    Published January 20, 2012
    Season of the Witch

    Season of the Witch

    Published November 13, 2011
    Deadfall

    Deadfall

    Published November 13, 2011
    Snake Eyes

    Snake Eyes

    Published November 13, 2011
    Zandalee

    Zandalee

    Published November 13, 2011
    KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

    KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park

    Published August 3, 2011
    Street Trash

    Street Trash

    Published May 13, 2011

    Movie Reviews

    Is There Such a Thing as a Single Entendre?

    March 18, 2011 No Comments

    Short Circuit is not a good movie. So whoever got the idea to combine it with Top Gun and hand the project over to Rob Cohen should have probably be beaten with a shovel until he stopped moving. Instead, they threw millions and millions of dollars at it and we got Stealth.

    More... Reviews

    People Suck

    March 11, 2011 1 Comment

    Is The Hand that Rocks the Cradle really that bad? If you remember it at all, you probably have fuzzy memories of a serviceable thriller starring that chick from Risky Business. Upon review, it’s clear that much of the movie’s greatness is entirely unintentional, which marks it as a true Yakmala film.

    More... Reviews

    Reefer Mutants

    March 11, 2011 No Comments

    My first encounter with Blood Freak was on some now defunct movie message boards. The thread concerned Yakmala films (although they didn’t use that name), and someone brought up Blood Freak. After hearing the premise, I was hooked as bad as Herschell.

    More... Reviews

    Turkish Star Wars

    March 11, 2011 2 Comments

    The YouTube clip was called “Turkish Star Wars.” That’s enough of a reason to watch something. Turns out the clip is actually from a movie called The Man Who Saved the World. After watching this, I’m still not quite sure what the man actually did, other than jump around like an asshole.

    More... Reviews