Blood Freak

Release Date: 1972
Tagline: A Dracula On Drugs!

Directors/Writers: Brad F. Grinter, Steve Hawkes

Starring:
Steve Hawkes
Heather Hughes
Randy Grinter
Brad F. Grinter

Hall of Fame – Class of 2008

Plot Synopsis by Justin: Herschell (Hawkes), apparently an Elvis impersonator who can’t decide between early biker King and late hair-farmer  King, comes across Angel, a nice Christian girl who dresses like a stripper with low self-esteem, having unspecified car trouble by the side of the road.  He follows her home, where her sister Ann is having a drug party with some unsavory characters who bear strange resemblances to Lucille Ball, Matthew McConaughey, Burt Bacharach, and Veronica Cartwright. Angel preaches at him and gets Herschell a job at the local poultry farm. Ann  seduces him and gets him to smoke some pot. As most people are in stories like these, Herschell is hopelessly addicted in no time at all. At the poultry farm, a pair of lab techs has Herschell eat some tainted turkey meat to see what will happen. Herschell passes out, grows a giant turkey head and becomes a vampire. Yes, you read that right. Let me say it again. Herschell. Grows a giant turkey head. And becomes a vampire. He spends the rest of the movie hunting down drug  addicts and spearing them through the neck to drink blood that looks exactly like Tang. Later, he wakes up, realizing it was all a dream. Angel, who has been completely absent for  nearly an hour, shows up to preach at him again, but the happy ending is that Herschell ends up with reformed tramp Ann. Meanwhile, the narrator (Grinter), sitting at a desk in front of  chintzy wood paneling, explains what we’re seeing in a performance that makes Ben Stein look like Sam Jackson.